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Thanks for the support for Real Mom. Real Reviews. and I'll see you on the other side.

Grown-Up Pose: A Review

Thank you to Berkley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I was excited and thrilled to receive an advance copy of the Grown-Up Pose because I have to admit that I am always looking for Asian representation in mainstream culture and I have never read a book where the protagonist is of Indian descent.

The main character, Anu, is conflicted about who she is and how her identity has always been dictated by the expectations of her culture and of her parents. She had always done the “right thing” in her parents’ eyes. But does doing the right thing often mean at the expense of personal happiness? Shouldn’t doing the right thing mean we should be happy with our choices?

Anu, in her search for self, falls into the many pits and traps that some women may find themselves in after doing everything that society expects of them: get married, have children, keep an organized home, volunteer at your child's school, and support your husband. Thinking she had ticked off everything on the "grown-up list", she wonders why she continues to feel like she's still got some growing up to do.

Unhappy, she tells her husband to leave the house, impulsively buys a yoga studio that needs a lot of TLC, flees everything to go to London, and gets into all sorts of cringe-worthy date mistakes as she jumps on the Tinder train and swipes wrong (or right). As someone who's always got her life in control, she tries new things she's never tried before as she lets go of some of that self-control and ends up making a big fool of her grown-up self.

Set in progressive Vancouver, I was intrigued to read about a new locale, as well as the range of characters presented in the story. I was most entertained by Anu's parents whose easy repartee provided some comic relief and the introductory text messages at the beginning of each chapter were entertaining. I can see some of the generational and cultural gaps in the way they talk and the way they navigate new technology to communicate with the younger generation. I thought that was clever in portraying how the old is trying to adapt to the new. And yet, certain values are still kept sacred by the older generation: family, education, and community. It's amusing to also see how Anu interacts with those younger than she, like Imogen, whom she likes as a person but she still grapples to understand.

Finally, it all comes down to the whole theory of "having to lose yourself in order to find yourself". How does Anu come out from her identity search? Does she lose her family, her beloved daughter, and the first man she had ever kissed all in the name of personal happiness and self-understanding?

There are many good points in the book though it was hard to root for Anu. Perhaps, as a mother myself, it was a hard sell for me to see her as a loving mother because of her actions, and really, the lack of "airtime" for Kanika. There were many characters, issues introduced in the book that, though relevant, seemed disjointed. They did not necessarily gel which seemed to affect the cohesiveness of the story.

Overall, the book is for those who are young enough to understand some of the social mores of today's generations. This book is also for those old enough to understand the importance of learning from your mistakes and, hopefully, not make the same mistakes again. Tough choices have to be made, but sometimes, you just have to suck it up and make the best of your situation especially when there are other people involved. Because, unfortunately, that's what being a grown-up is all about.

The book is available on March 24. If you are intrigued by how it all ends for Anu, you can purchase a copy here.

Cookbooks for Non-cooks

Unfortunately, I am not much of a cook. I didn't grow up watching my mom cook because she didn't. When we had cooking and baking class in high school, I was content to let someone else take over the spatula while I took over the sponge and dish soap or even the broom. 

But coming to America meant I had to cook my own meals and with the appearance of children, I had to cook kid-friendly healthy meals. AND with my mom staying with us during the school year, it meant I had to also balance my meals to accommodate her tastes.

What a conundrum! So although I can read the instructions in a cookbook very well, some of the cooking terms just fly over my head and when instructions include statements like "cook until done", you know that spells disaster as you can end up with something overcooked or undercooked. As a non-cook, I couldn't know for sure when the cooking is "done".

Thankfully, I watch the Food Network, and I was introduced to Ree Drummond, Pioneer Woman. I don't cook with a TV in front of me, but I can cook with a book in front of me. I can cook if there are step-by-step pictures showing me exactly how something should look so I'll know if I am doing the right thing.

This is Ree Drummond's chow mein recipe. I added shrimp as my protein.

Enter the Pioneer Woman's cookbooks! I am forever indebted to her patience in taking step-by-step photo instructions for her recipes. With these, I can tell if I am doing the right thing or not. I feel more confident when I compare what's in my pan to the pictures in her books. 

Another aspect of her cookbooks that I like is that she will say how long something takes to cook. This eliminates the ambiguity of "cook till done" and if you still doubt yourself even after looking at the pictures, you can use the handy-dandy timer to make sure you're cooking according to specifications.

Some of our favorite recipes come from her books. Of all her cookbooks, I refer to her Come and Get It! and Dinnertime editions the most. We love the slow cooker recipes, the stir-fry vegetables, chow mein, as well as the beautiful roasted vegetables recipes. See, I told you I am trying to cook healthier foods for the kids and the Guama. 

I've tried a gazillion cookbooks. Others were just too wordy or just too vague. In this case, the Pioneer Woman's are just right for this by-the-book cook!

If you haven't heard, her new cookbook is out. Check them out here.


Any purchases made through my site will help with the costs of maintaining The Mama Travels website. Thank you in advance!

Exile by Shannon Messenger
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I am always on the hunt for good Middle-Grade books. I've been disappointed with some of the recent ones in the market, but so far, I have been pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoy the series so far. Getting into it late in the game, I get to read the books in sequence thereby eliminating the need to try to recall what happened in the last book.

Exile is noted for its quick action (shorter chapters), mystery, and suspense, complete with all the middle-age drama of innocent puppy love and peer rivalry. I love the wholesome-ness of the book so far and I am hoping it stays this way till the more recent releases.

As a testament to the series, the first book in this series was published in 2012, and when I requested it from the local library, there was still a queue for it. Same thing for this book. I had to wait for my turn before it became available. Looking forward to Book #3.

View all my reviews

Lest We Forget: Corazon Aquino

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Growing up during the time of President Marcos's regime and witnessing the overthrow of the same in a trend-setting non-violent way which seemed to be the precursor to the fall of the Eastern European bloc in the same relatively peaceful manner, it is pertinent that the younger generation remember and know the facts of history lest we make the mistake of allowing history to repeat itself.

I was pleasantly surprised to find this Little People, Big Dreams book by UK publishers Frances Lincoln Children's Books featuring Corazon Aquino, first female Philippine president, who was thrown into the spotlight after her husband, Benigno Aquino was murdered on the tarmac on his way from the States. The story, geared towards younger audiences, follows the style and trend of other Little People, Big Dreams books in the series. If you are unfamiliar, here's a short video introducing the series.

Watch out for the Little People, Big Dreams's feature on Corazon Aquino. Release date is August 4, 2020. Come back to this page to get a copy of your book or any of the other books in the series. Click here for more titles.

All purchases made through this site will help cover the costs of maintaining The Mama Travels website.

A Water Dancer's Worth

I have to admit. Reading and getting through this book was no easy feat. It covers a period of time in American history that one would not take pride nor glory in. Ta-Nehisi Coates’s take of this turbulent time is a wonderful example of story-telling on a topic that is often hard to tell. Rather than it being a despondent tale of slavery (which slavery is), it focuses more on the hope presented by the Underground Railroad and the appreciation and value for human life at a time when one’s worth is measured by how much they can be sold off at the auction block. The main character, Hiram, finds his place in this time of American history and finds himself in a unique circumstance of being a child caught in between.

A (Hard) Tale to Tell

From all accounts, the real Underground Railroad did use actual railroad terms as code words for their freedom movement. “Conductors” were the guides; “station masters” were people who helped hide the slaves in their homes; and “passengers” were the escaped slaves. The word “conduction” itself may not have been actually used (though I cannot know for sure as I am not a scholar on this topic), but Coates used this word to talk about the transport of “passengers” from their “coffins” to the “Promised Land”. This transport, however, is not through the use of vehicles. Rather, it is a power channeled through the use of stories, memories, plus the presence of water to enable the one with the inherited ability to “conduct” his fellow travelers to their destination in a whirl of mist and fog. The deeper the memory, the farther the conduction can travel. The inclusion of this supernatural element makes the story-telling less tedious without belittling the hardship and suffering of slaves. For the conduction to take place, sometimes, the painful memories have to be dug up—the memories evoked are oftentimes just as, if not more, agonizing than physical pain.

Life Has Worth

Perhaps what struck me the most in the reading of this tale is the affirmation that every life, born or unborn, has worth. That worth is not measured in dollars and cents when a slave is sold; it is not measured by how much Ryland’s jail gets for every slave they catch and return to their masters. Granted that there were plenty of musings on whether a child would be a “joyful thing” especially when,

“…[the] women would not wish a child upon themselves...forming their whole life around it."

Despite the circumstances surrounding the conception of life in which they refer to as the “coffin”, the hope of “a small thing blooming” in Sophia, Hiram’s love, has helped her carry on and to withstand her despairing situation.

"And I see you have formed your life around this young’un, formed your life around her before she even came.”

Beyond unborn babies, the story recounts how each person who was torn from the arms of their parents, families, and loved ones, is not mere chattel. They have a name, a family that they are forbidden to have as they are treated as objects for sale. The strength of conduction depends on the strength of the memories of people who have come and gone. Beyond saying that conduction is powered by memories, I say that conduction is powered by these lives for as long you have that memory, that person is still alive and well in your minds. Harriet Tubman declares in the book, 

“We forgot nothing, you and I…. To forget is to truly slave. To forget is to die.”

This book serves to be a part of the anthology of books that reminds us to not forget, to keep the memory of Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass, the Hirams, the Sophias, the Whites, the Micajah Blands, and even the Corinne Quinns of those times alive.

By purchasing a copy of the book here, you can help me keep up the costs of maintaining The Mama Travels website. Thank you!

"The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse" and a Mama Loving this Book

Just like any real mom with a full-time job (and a second part-time job), I get in line at the public library to get ahold of the latest, touted bestsellers. I think this is a smart way to test-drive a book before investing in "keepers". I haven't purchased a book in a while, but this book, I believe, is something I am willing to buy for myself and for someone whom I think will greatly benefit from the simple wisdom found in its pages.

Personal Connection
Any book where you can make a personal connection is always going to be memorable and special.

Growing up in an age when we passed around a slam book in class asking the usual informational questions and, sometimes, the more personal questions, I was reminded of this one question I often had to answer and the standard response I gave:

                                        What is your motto?

                                                           ---"To love and be loved."

To see these exact same words jump out at me in Charlie Mackesy's bestseller "The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse" led to a rush of mixed feelings as I am reminded of a time in my life when I was insecure and felt alone, and the slambook was one way to affirm who my "friends" were and to cull people's opinions about me. 

Who is your best friend?

We hid behind these slambooks to get a sense of how other people felt about us. And those times are not too different from what we have now. These days we check our Facebook page to see how many "likes" our pictures and posts have received.

Simple Messaging
The book also had the appeal of innocence and simplicity that many people nowadays have lost or forgotten. It reminded me of Benjamin Hoff's "The Tao of Pooh" in its use of lovable characters both innocent and childlike, showing wisdom that many adults may have forgotten or lost. I love the simplicity of the words used in Mackesy's book, and yet, each scribbled word carried a lot of weight.

Nonlinear Reading
In the author's introduction (which I read!), the author expressed that he liked to "start in the middle of a book". His book allows you to do just that without losing the essence of the story. For every page can be a standalone or it can be read in a linear fashion, depending on your reading style. Just like in real life, we are all at different stages of our lives. We don't always start off on the same page. The book allows us to find where we are in our lives and start from there.

What's in a Picture?
Despite the author's lack of formal art training, I absolutely loved the artwork. Again, like his choice of words and messaging, the author used simple lines and pops of color reminding us to focus on the things that really matter--kindness, friendship, and acceptance which all lead to love.

Perhaps, the appeal of this book is because we've complicated these basic ideals and values to a point that they've become unrecognizable. Perhaps, we've heard and seen so much hatred and negativity that we've forgotten what love is all about. Perhaps, we've added so many layers and attributes that the very basic definition of these concepts has become distorted and hidden. It's a timely book that reminds us of our base needs for acceptance and affection and a reminder that deep inside of us is a child who can react to the world at large with kindness...and a craving for cake!

For a copy of the book, which I highly recommend, click here. Any purchases help defray costs of the-mama-travels website.

The Marvelously-Anticipated Mrs. Maisel is Back!

People who have followed Mrs. Maisel’s career on the hit series, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, are happy to get a new season this month on Amazon Prime. Is it because the idea of women empowerment and breaking the mold in the 1950s resonates with many independent-minded young ladies of the 21st century? Is it because people are drawn to the colorful period of 50s style and fashion? Is it because it is actually funny? Here are my reasons why I absolutely waited with bated breath for Season 3 to start this month:

1. Nostalgia for a different decade

No, I wasn't born in the 50s but I liked the fashion: the flouncy skirts that whirl around as you twirl on the dance floor, women using night-before curlers to give them the perfect wavy mid-length bobs the next morning, and greased side-parted hair for a clean-cut look for the men. I also liked the do-wops and the choreographed snapping up and down of the back-up singers. The decade also evokes images of pastel-colored kitchen appliances which make for great eye-candy as well as alleviated the load of housework for the many housewives engaged in the menial tasks of it. And, despite the seedy underbelly of the cold war during that time, it is a picture-perfect decade that is captured in the Polaroid in my head.

2. Spunky (and Funny!) Heroine

Midge, for all her faults, is quite loveable. She had tried to be the perfect daughter for her father, but she didn't marry the right guy. She tried to please her mother but her career as a stand-up comic got compared to prostitution instead. And, she tried to be the best wife she could be, until she upstaged her husband in something HE wanted desperately to be good at. As a mom, well, she had her mother and a babysitter to watch her kids so I guess, they're never really neglected. Point is, she is a flawed character who did what she could to find her own way in a world where women traditionally didn't get into. And she did it! Being funny helped, of course, since you need THAT to be a comic. But perhaps, many young people relate to the struggle of finding their niche, to break away from their parent’s resources, and actually be good at something to be able to make a living off of it.

3. Interesting Plot (and subplots)

As a whole, we know about Midge trying to make it in the big leagues in show business, but we also see her soon-to-be-ex-husband trying to find his groove as he tries to find something he can make a living out of without relying on his father's business and his father's money to pay for a roof above his children's heads. He seemed to have good management skills when he tried to "clean up" his dad's business. However, extricating himself from the apron strings of Daddy's garment factory remains a problem. Another subplot introduced in Season 3 is Midge's dad, Abe, who quit his tenured position with Columbia University. With it, he loses the 5-bedroom apartment his wife and daughter were quite comfortable to stay in and mingles with a young group of "radicals" instead. And perhaps the most "important" conundrum Midge may face this season is, with all the colorful outfits that Midge must change into and out of each episode, where are her racks of clothes supposed to go now? 

4. Great Laughs

After Seinfeld and Friends, there aren't a lot of great sitcoms with funny punchlines or memorable characters anymore (at least, in my humble opinion). Though The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel does not fit the sitcom genre, her acts actually do put the "comedy" back on the small screen. Yes, it may be a little crass as may be typical of many stand-up comics, but at least you don’t feel like you have to "force" out a laugh just so you won't feel bad for coughing up $120 for front-row seats at the Gaslight.

All in all, the series has a wonderful (sentimental) setting, a strong heroine, and all the elements of humor and drama, as well as cultural, political, and societal issues all rolled neatly into a marvelously magnificent package that is the world of Mrs. Maisel.

An Ode to October's Filipino-American History Month

With October more popularly known as the month for Halloween, Oktoberfest, and celebrating the Hispanic heritage, it might be worth noting that Filipino-American History Month is also celebrated in October. What better way to celebrate than with a feast full of Filipino food. Check out my article published in the Beltsville News featuring a local favorite of my family for all things Filipino.

Where the Crawdads Sing: A Review + Spoilers

Where the Crawdads Sing

Though I am no Reese Witherspoon nor am I a member of her book club, I did pick up this book because of all the hype it was getting for being on the bestseller's lists. What made this book such a hit? These, I think, are the top reasons why it is a great read:

Vividly-described Setting
Admittedly, I am a city girl and would never for the life of me want to live in marshy, mosquito-infested land. But the visually-descriptive writing of the author, Delia Owens, made the marsh less of a dump but a picturesque haven for many creatures and for our protagonist, Kya Clark. The author's nature writing prowess shone through and played a big part in creating the setting for the story and helped us understand how much Kya relied on her unique environment in order to survive after being abandoned by her family. She sought solace and company with the herons and she dug up mussels in order to earn what little cash she can in order to purchase gas for her little boat. Her knowledge and keen observation skills became her ticket later to financial independence which allowed her to be free to pay off the back taxes and legally declare her little shack as her own. This also provided the backdrop for the greatest murder mystery to ever take place in Barkley Cove. The natural rhythms and patterns of the marsh ecosystem helped add to the unsolved murder of Chase Andrews. With that, you might say this natural setting became a key factor in Marsh Girl's story.


Learning from Nature

"Female insects, Kya thought, know how to deal with their lovers." 

Though hurt by the people whom she thought loved her, she learns to take charge of herself by looking at the examples set by the insects she is surrounded with. The imagery of the firefly light patterns was used to compare to her own personal experience of love--one that is seemingly pure, but also ultimately destroyed her--just as fireflies light up for a mate but would also use the same light to kill a potential mate. Female praying mantises deviously use the male ego to trick him into thinking he is getting what he wants but she then flips the script and she chomps of his head to get what she wanted.

Using her knowledge of the animal kingdom gleaned through the books and articles she finally learned to read, Kya uses what she knows in order to decipher humans outside her tiny circumference. She described the courtroom scene by comparing the clothing of the key players to similar alpha-beta roles that are present in animal relationships. The prosecutor, for lack of real content and substance, had to detract from that by wearing bold and eye-catching colors to augment for other things he lacked.

"... [S]ome stunted males, not strong, adorned, or smart enough to hold good territories, possess bags of tricks to fool the females. They parade their smaller forms around in pumped-up postures or shout frequently--even if in shrill voices....[r]elying on pretense and false signals..."

Though she may not have much knowledge of the men outside her world, she learned to make these connections to make sense of them.

No Man is an Island
Kya was fortunate to also have a friend who cared about her--a boy who grew up with her and had witnessed her father's abusive behavior. This also leads to another point that no matter how isolated one may be, we still need the help of other people in order to make it in this world.

"Kya knew it wasn't so much that the herd would be incomplete without one of its deer, but that each deer would be incomplete without her herd." 

Dealing with Discrimination
Aside from Tate who patiently taught her to read, introduced her to poems, and gave her the tools she could use to become a self-actualized woman, the author introduces two characters who became surrogate parents for the young Kya. Jumpin' and Mabel, both colored, were still experiencing the segregative laws of the South yet they did not hesitate to take in the Marsh Girl, who herself was scorned and looked down upon by the white townsfolk of Barkley Cove. I am glad that the book presents the scenario that discrimination is not limited to race and that it covers anyone who is different from the mainstream culture. Kya certainly did not fit that mold and yet her editor stood by her during the murder trials because she was respected by those who appreciated her work. Tom Milton comes out of retirement to be her pro bono defense lawyer and takes the extra step to give her a book on shells to try to crack her stoic facade. Minor characters include the checkout lady at Piggly Wiggly and the truant officer who in one way or another helped her as she tried to maneuver the strange world outside her beloved lagoon. In life, we are not judged by our looks but by our actions.

All in all, this book was entertaining and captivating with Kya and her natural habitat as the main characters of this story. It is as much a story of triumph and transcendence as one uses and works with nature in order to better understand one's place in it.

To purchase a copy of this highly recommended book, please click here. All proceeds go towards maintaining The Mama Travels website.

Educated: A Review

The last biography I read (though not a recent release) was “Teacher Man” by Frank McCourt. Being in the education sector, I was able to relate to his trials and travails, joys and jubilations over being a teacher. When I read the synopsis for “Educated”, I was intrigued. Another aspect of education, it’s a story of triumph despite the circumstances and obstacles along the way to success. I was curious as to how Tara Westover, inconsistently “homeschooled” and indoctrinated into the evils of the secular world, was able to achieve a Ph.D., and find success in a world outside of Buck’s Peak in rural Idaho. But beyond just the regular storytelling and biographical anecdotes, Tara’s accounts touched on many topics that are popular in today’s media culture and in other age-old issues that (hu)mankind has had to deal with.

(Watch out for spoilers!)

Religion

“This story is not about Mormonism.”

-       Tara Westover, Author’s Note in “Educated”

-        

The author’s family is of the Mormon faith. She recounts how an ancestor of hers came to be baptized in the faith. Readers who are limited to the Mormon interpretation of an old South Park episode will be surprised that even within, there are divisions that separate mainstream Mormons from the kind of Mormonism that Westover’s family practiced. This clarifies that the way her family does things (doomsday prepping, holistic and herbalistic medicine, homeschooling) is not commonly practiced by others who also recognize Joseph Smith as their prophet. She makes clear that her story is about the people, the characters who may so happen to be Mormons (or not!). That being said, it touches on issues that even non-Mormons may encounter and experience.

Fatalism

“Remember when Luke burned his leg?” Dad said, as if I could forget. “That was the Lord’s plan. It was a curriculum. For your mother. So she would be ready for what would happen to me.”

This sort of fatalism is prevalent in many folk religions and more common in the olden days when people back then did not have access to the technology we have now to combat diseases and to predict the next weather disturbance so that we may be better prepared for it. The fact that this thinking is still prevalent in this day and age seems to indicate the unwillingness to take personal responsibility for situations that could have been prevented. While I admit that there is also a group of parents who “over-parent” and try to avoid any harm to come to their child, it shouldn’t be an excuse for not giving proper care and medical attention when needed. In Tara’s family, they never went to the hospital and would avoid seeing the doctors no matter how badly hurt they may be. Everything is “cured” holistically which actually led to her mom’s home business of selling herbal medicine and essential oils taking off as a big commercial venture. Whether this is divine intervention or simply a lucky twist of fate, it doesn’t excuse the fact that they failed to give the care needed when sickness and injury occurs, which is tantamount to neglect.

Role of Women

“The next morning I found Dad in the kitchen, dumping flour into a glue-like substance I assumed was supposed to be pancake batter. When he saw me, he dropped the flour and sat at the table. “You’re a woman, aint’cha?” he said. “Well, this here’s the kitchen.”

The role of women in Tara’s family was clearly defined. Dictated by very old-fashioned traditional gender roles, it also defines the wife’s and the husband’s roles.

“That’s wifely work,” Dad said. “I’ve never heard of a man writing cards.”

-       on writing thank you cards to guests at the funeral

Tara also bucks the role that she is expected to play. She realized that if she stayed in Buck’s Peak, she would simply be having babies and her mother would be the tending midwife. This didn’t appeal to her and she was encouraged to take the American College Testing (ACT) by an older brother who was able to escape their little neck of the woods and the stranglehold of their family’s beliefs.

Many other cultures still hold traditional gender roles as sacred. Is this due to religious or cultural beliefs? Is it subjugation of women by men? Are men intimidated by how much women may accomplish given the opportunity? Whatever the reasons are, this is not isolated to the Westovers of Idaho.

Family Loyalty

“Every time I suggested that Shawn was violent or manipulative in any way, Dad shouted at me: “Where’s your proof? Do you have proof?”

Tara describes how she has been estranged by half of her immediate family because she refused to admit that she may have been wrong about how her brother treats his siblings and his wife. The great divide was between those who had pursued higher education and those who had not; between those who had moved and lived outside of their little neck of the woods and those who stayed and worked for the family business.

“But when my own mother didn’t believe me, I stopped believing myself.”

-Audrey, Tara’s sister, on reporting to her mother

     about Shawn’s treatment of her

Though broken, Shawn was physically violent and unstable. Instead of defending the victims, the parents chose to defend the abuser—saying that he was “broken” and needed the support and understanding of his family. But in doing so, the parents alienated and failed to acknowledge that they had other children in the family who literally suffered under his hands. Though there seemed to be moments when the mom seemed torn and seemed to show support for Tara, in the end, for whatever reasons she may have, she would fold and harp the same beliefs that her husband would espouse leaving Tara hanging dry.

I gritted my teeth when the author described these moments, and I thought myself lucky that I was merely a passive reader than an actual character in the scene unfolding. Then I realized that Tara’s experience is not all that uncommon. How many times have we been told to sweep things under the rug rather than expose a family member for the mental illness that they may have? How many times have we suggested a family member get professional help only to be scoffed at for even suggesting we pay a total stranger for listening to personal grievances? And should you dare rock the boat and break the status quo, you’re persona non grata. You ruined the “peace and quiet” in the family, and YOU’RE the troublemaker although you’re the one trying to help nip the situation in the bud and prevent something worse from happening.

Same thing with Tara. She refused to play the “quiet” game, the “let’s-just-all-pretend-Shawn-never-really-did-that” game since there was no hard evidence that he did what they said he did. And in doing so, she has been cut off by her parents, some of her siblings and family members who, unfortunately, are still tied to the family some way, somehow.

Mental Health

“But sometimes I think we choose our illness, because they benefit us in some way.”

Tara’s mom acknowledges in one scene that her husband may be suffering from mental illness—a surprise admission which fizzled into nothing towards the end of the book. Instead of taking action for her husband’s possible bipolar disorder, she chooses to accept her husband for who he is and refused to seek help. Despite the negative effects on her own children and on herself, she goes along and keeps the status quo. In more ways than one, it is not just about a wife trying to put up with an abusive husband from which she cannot escape from. It could be about having no other options because they have grown dependent on the abuser or they have been conditioned to fear the unknown outside of the life she is already familiar with. We’d rather make excuses for a very bad situation rather than be thrust into an unknown place.

Often times, the person suffering from mental illness is aware and may use it to manipulate the people around him/her to either get what s/he wants or to make excuses for bad behavior towards other people without having to apologize and make amends for it. It is a convenient excuse to have, really, especially since the onus is on the others to understand that you have “something else going on” rather than to take a hard look at yourself and make the difficult decision of dealing with the issues.

Unfortunately, for those in the family brave enough and unwilling to withstand such abuse means they may be estranged with the family they grew up with.

         With everything that the author went through, she found her way out by getting herself educated. With enough metacognitive skills and courage to teach herself and to learn concepts above her head, she was able to open other doors that led to a world outside of scrapping and slaving for her parents. In taking charge of her education, she learned to take care of her mental self, and slowly heal from the emotional scars that cut far deeper than the physical scars she acquired from gathering metal and scraps for her father. It is a story of triumph and victory, and although her relationship with her family is far from ideal at the moment, she has at least reconnected with herself and made herself whole again.

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ICYMI: Mike Rowe's Author Event in Baltimore

     When Mike Rowe announced on social media that he was having an author event inside a church in Baltimore, I figured it would be a smaller, intimate crowd of fans waiting for a chance to get an autographed copy of his new book, “The Way I Heard It”, and a photo opp. Not being familiar with the Church of the Redeemer in Baltimore, I crawled into the parking lot to witness a long line of people waiting patiently on one side of the circular sidewalk of the front of the church with people making a U-turn once that line reached the curb to wrap around onto the driveway. I was grateful that a parking attendant directed me to park on the grass as there were no empty spots left in sight. I ended up getting premium parking as a result. I wasn’t very lucky when I got inside. Upon entry, I was greeted by a colorful stained glass display of vibrant reds, yellows, and oranges; the fall colors provided the perfect backdrop for an October book signing event. However, I also couldn’t find a place to sit despite flying solo that evening. So I skedaddled to the side, noting where the chair intended for Mike was facing and tried to find a spot close enough to stand without obstructing anyone’s view. Although it was 30 minutes past the time it was supposed to start, the audience didn’t seem

perturbed by it as Mr. John Rowe, Mike’s dad, suddenly appears with his tablet in both hands, stands in front of the church, and snaps away to document the night’s turnout. Not long after, Mrs. Rowe could be spotted off to the other side of the church, and Mike Rowe strides in in a blue button-down shirt with rolled-up sleeves and blue jeans, the same color and style scheme as the clothes he wore for the cover of his book. Mrs. Rowe was tasked to introduce her son for that night’s event, and she quickly dived into her role by citing HER accomplishments as a bestselling author. After a few minutes of “shameless”, humorous plugging of her book, she finally talked about her son—about how in the 80s, she and her husband would miss Sunday service (and to admit it inside a church nonetheless) in order to catch Mike’s opera performances. In the 90s, she supported her son’s QVC gig by staying up at 3 a.m. to catch her son’s latest gaffes and drools as Mike product-tests a mattress he was trying to sell and actually falls asleep on it (Mike denies this, but Mrs. Rowe claims that mothers know best.). But through it all, you can sense the pride she has in her son and in all his accomplishments, and through it all, she never failed to acknowledge the man who has been at her side through all her son’s ups and downs, her Prince Charming, John Rowe.

     Mike finally took the mike (ahem!) and was able to field questions raised by the host. She started out with a question during his time with the opera, which led to questions about his time with QVC, and Mike probably won’t be able to avoid talking about Dirty

Jobs as this is what really made him a household name. She finally talked about what she termed as the “odd” structure of the book. Each section starts out with a mystery of a real person (in the format of his podcasts) which he later connects to something in his real life. This mishmash of stories, somewhat unheard of, and perhaps indeed “odd”, may be the formula for the next spate of bestsellers to come as publishers will see how well Mike’s book does in the coming weeks. As of October 17, somebody had already posted on his social media page that he is #4 on Amazon.

Since the event started late, the host was gracious enough to shorten her time to give room for audience Q & A. What struck me was the number of people who had to drive long distances just to attend the book signing. My drive took around 40 minutes which I considered a relatively long drive coming from two counties away. But the first question went to a man from Michigan (that’s at least, more than two states away, let alone count the counties in between!) who asked about Mike's possible return as Tim Allen’s brother in Last Man Standing which led to Mike talking about Tim’s challenge to getting their prostates checked, and Mike talking about his doctor’s finger up in the nether regions (The venue for the event never changed and this talk still happened inside the church.). Then the mike went to an audience member from Virginia (depending on which part, that could at least be a couple of hours’ drive) who asked how he has been able to keep his private life private in the public eye (“By not saying anything,” Mike advises.). This is then followed by a lady from Delaware (you get the picture!) who wanted a shirt donation from Mike so she could make a teddy bear for a very sick friend. He obliged after a brief mental tug of war on the appropriateness of taking off his shirt in a sacred sanctuary (showing good self-restraint). A man from Carroll County wanted advice for his son who is going to trade school where he launched into a story that didn’t directly address the question (or was forgotten somewhere as he delved into his story). A woman talked about how his Returning the Favor show affected her and effectively showed her that there are so many good people out there. And the last question of the night went to an 11-year old girl who is a fan of a show that ended when she was 4 years old. She asks Mike that out of all the dirty jobs he did for his show, which one would he choose if he weren’t a TV personality. Keeping up with the theme of “free association” and losing track of the original question as he ventures a little off-tangent in telling his stories, he does the same for this last question—a question he answered by deflecting back to why he did the show in the first place, which is to honor his grandfather whom he obviously admired and could never aspire to even come close.

The night ended with another long line to have a picture taken with Mike Rowe in the narthex of the church. I quickly read the first three stories while waiting and as I got closer, I saw that there will be no opportunities for a quick question and conversation as they were trying to have everyone smile, click, and pass out the card for people to just download the photo in the comforts of their home. I don’t blame them as there were more people after me, still waiting for their turn.

On my way out, as I pulled on my jacket as the air was nippy, I decided to take one last walk in with the intention of taking one more picture of a poster of the book for blogging purposes. As I did, I noticed that Mike’s dad, John Rowe, was still in the building. He’s no Elvis, but I actually thought he and Mrs. Rowe may have already retired for the night. I approached him to make small talk, and he was very kind and courteous in answering my questions about when his wife’s second book was coming out. I thanked him and left the venue on a high note.

     What struck me was how much positivity there was in the room and how people do need a touch of levity in light of today’s negative news environment. Although I knew most of the Mike stories that were told and retold during the night’s events, the delivery is what makes them still funny to listen to. One gets drawn into the obviously warm relationship Mike has with his parents as he speaks glowingly of them returning the favor of his mom’s adoring introductory remarks of him. This proves the popularity of the Rowe family as they show how they maneuver this journey called life through respect, humility, optimism, and plenty of good humor to pass around.

More Book Reviews (ca. 2011)

This review first appeared on June 22, 2011, on my old Multiply blogsite.

So, it's been a while since my last book review. So, I figured it was time to share with you some of the more memorable books I have read. To start off (although the order of books is not in any kind of order), I got into the Percy Jackson series mainly because I knew the movie version of it came out (so it got some buzz) and upon reading the summary, it was kinda interesting. It mixed Greek mythology (which I absolutely loved when we took it up in high school) and modern-day setting (USA) and buzzwords (like ADHD). The whole series was well-written and the plot and details were in sync. Naturally, the author took some liberties with some of the demigods and mythical beings, but overall, it was still entertaining and it even introduced me to mythical monsters I had not previously heard of. Unfortunately, the movie was a disappointment because they totally veered away from the main storyline. The acting wasn't that great either, but there will be a movie sequel, maybe by next year, and from what I've read from the comments, people were saying they had better stick to the book.

On to more mature audiences..."Water for Elephants" is also another movie tie-in and it was shown recently. I have not watched it yet, but I definitely plan to.  It is a love story but what made it unique was the setting. It's set in the Big Top, the circus life during the Prohibition. I normally don't go for the whole romance genre anymore but this was definitely a nice twist to an age-old romance plot. I would recommend it for the novelty of it.

"The Help" is one of the nicer and even funny books about the life of African-Americans in the South, particularly Jackson, Mississippi. The movie will be released in August, and it will be one on the top of my list to watch. It talks about how the black womenfolk worked as servants for the rich white households. It talks about how they are treated and how they coped. It's an interesting read because it talks about another aspect of African-American history that is not focused on slavery and plantations. It was an eye-opener and worth the read.

"The Secret Life ofBees" is another interesting read about African-American ladies taking in a white kid who ran away from home. The book was interesting in the sense that the characters' lives seem to always cross paths at certain points or through common people. It's a good feel-good story about African-Americans helping out a white kid for a change, as most movie plots always revolve around black kids being "saved" or mentored by white people. The movie, I do not recommend. It was slow and dragging whereas the book seemed to have more "spunk" and action to it. Definitely read the book first if you are planning to watch the movie (starring Queen Latifah, Jennifer Hudson, Alicia Keys, Dakota Fanning).

Now, on to something a little more exotic and different from what I usually read. I decided to read this series when I heard that the author, Alexander McCall Smith, was going to be at the public library to give a little talk and book signing. Of course, by the time I found out, the venue was already packed and I couldn't get a seat. Nevertheless, it piqued my interest since the title was already familiar as I would often see it while browsing the bookstores, so I figured, what the heck, let me try it. Been hooked since then. It talks about a Botswana woman named Precious Ramotswe who opens the No. 1 LadiesDetective Agency. She solves mysteries and crimes through common sense. No high tech James Bond type of gadgets and no weapons. This is not to say that she did not dabble with dangerous cases. Set in the Botswana wilderness and the capital of Gaborone, she encounters her fair share of ruthless people. HBO actually produced a TV miniseries based on the book. Unfortunately, after 7 episodes, it got canceled. Based on the comments, viewers and followers of the series made a very good point that it is sad that a show that DOES NOT portray Africans in the usual stereotyped roles should be canceled because it was a good, "mellow" show. Fans of Precious Ramotswe will miss her old-fashioned values and common sense.

Ahhh... the series that had disturbed characters in an equally disturbing storyline. Filled with violence and perverseness, these books are not for the faint at heart. Lisbeth Salander had a lot from her past to deal with which overhangs into her present and future. She is a professional hacker and gets herself embroiled in Mikael Blomkvist's affairs. Originally written in the author's native Swedish, it has since been translated to English where it reached a much wider audience and was on the bestseller list for months! There is a Swedish movie adaptation of the book and there have been talks of a Hollywood version though nothing final yet. The author actually passed away before seeing how successful his books became in the international market. If you like adventure and action, this series is for you.

On to lighter stuff. "Holes" by Louis Sachar was a surprise hit for me. Again, I've heard about it, I've seen it in bookstores and finally decided to go for it. Yes, it's a kid's book and Disney produced the movie version, BUT the topic, plot, and setting is definitely not your typical "kids' stuff". Set in a "boot camp" for juvenile delinquents, juvies have to dig holes according to certain specifications as part of their "reformation" and "character-building". Little do they know that the vast wasteland they were on has a rich history that will be fulfilled by the present characters. It switches from the back story to the present until it all ties in very well at the end. Surprisingly, the movie was well done, too. Shia Labeouf played Stanley Yelnats, the main character, before hitting it big in "Transformers". Very good entertaining piece. I also read the sequel called "Small Steps" which is a spin-off of one of the other juvies. The approach was a little bit different but still entertaining enough.

Now, I saved the best for last. This is by far, one of the more, if not the most, entertaining books I've read in a while. After finishing off the Harry Potter series, I haven't really had one of those "I-can't-put-this-book-down" kind of feeling. Well, the Hunger Games series (which includes Catching Fire and Mockingjay) is a real page-turner. It is set in a dystopic setting where what used to be America is gone and in its place is Panem. Thirteen districts exist to provide for the needs of the Capitol and to show the Capitol's supremacy over them, each district sends two teenagers in a survival type of test where in order to survive, the others had to die, including your district partner because there can only be one winner. Although it is being touted as the next TWILIGHT, I must loudly object to this because they are TOTALLY different. Whereas, Twilight was basically a very sappy love story and Bella Swan couldn't decide who to choose, Katniss Everdeen is a totally strong-minded, independent girl who was oblivious to the love and affection of the boys around her. Well, when you are the main hunter in a game to help your family from starving to death, love and romance are probably the least of your concerns.  Whereas Bella had "extraordinary powers", Katniss had real-life survival skills that don't make the whole storyline seem so "out there". The best part is that Katniss doesn't throw herself at the boys like Bella would do. I would say, Katniss is the anti-Bella, and that's probably why I enjoyed the story more.

It's not all fiction and popular reads though.  Lately, I had also been able to take one book out of retirement--the Bible. All my Bibles are back in the Philippines and someone gave us the New American Bible two Christmases ago. I've picked it up mainly to look at certain passages and although I don't read it from cover to cover, it is filled with powerful words that are a gentle reminder of what is true and good in this world.