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Grown-Up Pose: A Review

Thank you to Berkley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I was excited and thrilled to receive an advance copy of the Grown-Up Pose because I have to admit that I am always looking for Asian representation in mainstream culture and I have never read a book where the protagonist is of Indian descent.

The main character, Anu, is conflicted about who she is and how her identity has always been dictated by the expectations of her culture and of her parents. She had always done the “right thing” in her parents’ eyes. But does doing the right thing often mean at the expense of personal happiness? Shouldn’t doing the right thing mean we should be happy with our choices?

Anu, in her search for self, falls into the many pits and traps that some women may find themselves in after doing everything that society expects of them: get married, have children, keep an organized home, volunteer at your child's school, and support your husband. Thinking she had ticked off everything on the "grown-up list", she wonders why she continues to feel like she's still got some growing up to do.

Unhappy, she tells her husband to leave the house, impulsively buys a yoga studio that needs a lot of TLC, flees everything to go to London, and gets into all sorts of cringe-worthy date mistakes as she jumps on the Tinder train and swipes wrong (or right). As someone who's always got her life in control, she tries new things she's never tried before as she lets go of some of that self-control and ends up making a big fool of her grown-up self.

Set in progressive Vancouver, I was intrigued to read about a new locale, as well as the range of characters presented in the story. I was most entertained by Anu's parents whose easy repartee provided some comic relief and the introductory text messages at the beginning of each chapter were entertaining. I can see some of the generational and cultural gaps in the way they talk and the way they navigate new technology to communicate with the younger generation. I thought that was clever in portraying how the old is trying to adapt to the new. And yet, certain values are still kept sacred by the older generation: family, education, and community. It's amusing to also see how Anu interacts with those younger than she, like Imogen, whom she likes as a person but she still grapples to understand.

Finally, it all comes down to the whole theory of "having to lose yourself in order to find yourself". How does Anu come out from her identity search? Does she lose her family, her beloved daughter, and the first man she had ever kissed all in the name of personal happiness and self-understanding?

There are many good points in the book though it was hard to root for Anu. Perhaps, as a mother myself, it was a hard sell for me to see her as a loving mother because of her actions, and really, the lack of "airtime" for Kanika. There were many characters, issues introduced in the book that, though relevant, seemed disjointed. They did not necessarily gel which seemed to affect the cohesiveness of the story.

Overall, the book is for those who are young enough to understand some of the social mores of today's generations. This book is also for those old enough to understand the importance of learning from your mistakes and, hopefully, not make the same mistakes again. Tough choices have to be made, but sometimes, you just have to suck it up and make the best of your situation especially when there are other people involved. Because, unfortunately, that's what being a grown-up is all about.

The book is available on March 24. If you are intrigued by how it all ends for Anu, you can purchase a copy here.

Cookbooks for Non-cooks

Unfortunately, I am not much of a cook. I didn't grow up watching my mom cook because she didn't. When we had cooking and baking class in high school, I was content to let someone else take over the spatula while I took over the sponge and dish soap or even the broom. 

But coming to America meant I had to cook my own meals and with the appearance of children, I had to cook kid-friendly healthy meals. AND with my mom staying with us during the school year, it meant I had to also balance my meals to accommodate her tastes.

What a conundrum! So although I can read the instructions in a cookbook very well, some of the cooking terms just fly over my head and when instructions include statements like "cook until done", you know that spells disaster as you can end up with something overcooked or undercooked. As a non-cook, I couldn't know for sure when the cooking is "done".

Thankfully, I watch the Food Network, and I was introduced to Ree Drummond, Pioneer Woman. I don't cook with a TV in front of me, but I can cook with a book in front of me. I can cook if there are step-by-step pictures showing me exactly how something should look so I'll know if I am doing the right thing.

This is Ree Drummond's chow mein recipe. I added shrimp as my protein.

Enter the Pioneer Woman's cookbooks! I am forever indebted to her patience in taking step-by-step photo instructions for her recipes. With these, I can tell if I am doing the right thing or not. I feel more confident when I compare what's in my pan to the pictures in her books. 

Another aspect of her cookbooks that I like is that she will say how long something takes to cook. This eliminates the ambiguity of "cook till done" and if you still doubt yourself even after looking at the pictures, you can use the handy-dandy timer to make sure you're cooking according to specifications.

Some of our favorite recipes come from her books. Of all her cookbooks, I refer to her Come and Get It! and Dinnertime editions the most. We love the slow cooker recipes, the stir-fry vegetables, chow mein, as well as the beautiful roasted vegetables recipes. See, I told you I am trying to cook healthier foods for the kids and the Guama. 

I've tried a gazillion cookbooks. Others were just too wordy or just too vague. In this case, the Pioneer Woman's are just right for this by-the-book cook!

If you haven't heard, her new cookbook is out. Check them out here.


Any purchases made through my site will help with the costs of maintaining The Mama Travels website. Thank you in advance!

Exile by Shannon Messenger
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I am always on the hunt for good Middle-Grade books. I've been disappointed with some of the recent ones in the market, but so far, I have been pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoy the series so far. Getting into it late in the game, I get to read the books in sequence thereby eliminating the need to try to recall what happened in the last book.

Exile is noted for its quick action (shorter chapters), mystery, and suspense, complete with all the middle-age drama of innocent puppy love and peer rivalry. I love the wholesome-ness of the book so far and I am hoping it stays this way till the more recent releases.

As a testament to the series, the first book in this series was published in 2012, and when I requested it from the local library, there was still a queue for it. Same thing for this book. I had to wait for my turn before it became available. Looking forward to Book #3.

View all my reviews

Lest We Forget: Corazon Aquino

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Growing up during the time of President Marcos's regime and witnessing the overthrow of the same in a trend-setting non-violent way which seemed to be the precursor to the fall of the Eastern European bloc in the same relatively peaceful manner, it is pertinent that the younger generation remember and know the facts of history lest we make the mistake of allowing history to repeat itself.

I was pleasantly surprised to find this Little People, Big Dreams book by UK publishers Frances Lincoln Children's Books featuring Corazon Aquino, first female Philippine president, who was thrown into the spotlight after her husband, Benigno Aquino was murdered on the tarmac on his way from the States. The story, geared towards younger audiences, follows the style and trend of other Little People, Big Dreams books in the series. If you are unfamiliar, here's a short video introducing the series.

Watch out for the Little People, Big Dreams's feature on Corazon Aquino. Release date is August 4, 2020. Come back to this page to get a copy of your book or any of the other books in the series. Click here for more titles.

All purchases made through this site will help cover the costs of maintaining The Mama Travels website.

A Water Dancer's Worth

I have to admit. Reading and getting through this book was no easy feat. It covers a period of time in American history that one would not take pride nor glory in. Ta-Nehisi Coates’s take of this turbulent time is a wonderful example of story-telling on a topic that is often hard to tell. Rather than it being a despondent tale of slavery (which slavery is), it focuses more on the hope presented by the Underground Railroad and the appreciation and value for human life at a time when one’s worth is measured by how much they can be sold off at the auction block. The main character, Hiram, finds his place in this time of American history and finds himself in a unique circumstance of being a child caught in between.

A (Hard) Tale to Tell

From all accounts, the real Underground Railroad did use actual railroad terms as code words for their freedom movement. “Conductors” were the guides; “station masters” were people who helped hide the slaves in their homes; and “passengers” were the escaped slaves. The word “conduction” itself may not have been actually used (though I cannot know for sure as I am not a scholar on this topic), but Coates used this word to talk about the transport of “passengers” from their “coffins” to the “Promised Land”. This transport, however, is not through the use of vehicles. Rather, it is a power channeled through the use of stories, memories, plus the presence of water to enable the one with the inherited ability to “conduct” his fellow travelers to their destination in a whirl of mist and fog. The deeper the memory, the farther the conduction can travel. The inclusion of this supernatural element makes the story-telling less tedious without belittling the hardship and suffering of slaves. For the conduction to take place, sometimes, the painful memories have to be dug up—the memories evoked are oftentimes just as, if not more, agonizing than physical pain.

Life Has Worth

Perhaps what struck me the most in the reading of this tale is the affirmation that every life, born or unborn, has worth. That worth is not measured in dollars and cents when a slave is sold; it is not measured by how much Ryland’s jail gets for every slave they catch and return to their masters. Granted that there were plenty of musings on whether a child would be a “joyful thing” especially when,

“…[the] women would not wish a child upon themselves...forming their whole life around it."

Despite the circumstances surrounding the conception of life in which they refer to as the “coffin”, the hope of “a small thing blooming” in Sophia, Hiram’s love, has helped her carry on and to withstand her despairing situation.

"And I see you have formed your life around this young’un, formed your life around her before she even came.”

Beyond unborn babies, the story recounts how each person who was torn from the arms of their parents, families, and loved ones, is not mere chattel. They have a name, a family that they are forbidden to have as they are treated as objects for sale. The strength of conduction depends on the strength of the memories of people who have come and gone. Beyond saying that conduction is powered by memories, I say that conduction is powered by these lives for as long you have that memory, that person is still alive and well in your minds. Harriet Tubman declares in the book, 

“We forgot nothing, you and I…. To forget is to truly slave. To forget is to die.”

This book serves to be a part of the anthology of books that reminds us to not forget, to keep the memory of Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass, the Hirams, the Sophias, the Whites, the Micajah Blands, and even the Corinne Quinns of those times alive.

By purchasing a copy of the book here, you can help me keep up the costs of maintaining The Mama Travels website. Thank you!

"The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse" and a Mama Loving this Book

Just like any real mom with a full-time job (and a second part-time job), I get in line at the public library to get ahold of the latest, touted bestsellers. I think this is a smart way to test-drive a book before investing in "keepers". I haven't purchased a book in a while, but this book, I believe, is something I am willing to buy for myself and for someone whom I think will greatly benefit from the simple wisdom found in its pages.

Personal Connection
Any book where you can make a personal connection is always going to be memorable and special.

Growing up in an age when we passed around a slam book in class asking the usual informational questions and, sometimes, the more personal questions, I was reminded of this one question I often had to answer and the standard response I gave:

                                        What is your motto?

                                                           ---"To love and be loved."

To see these exact same words jump out at me in Charlie Mackesy's bestseller "The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse" led to a rush of mixed feelings as I am reminded of a time in my life when I was insecure and felt alone, and the slambook was one way to affirm who my "friends" were and to cull people's opinions about me. 

Who is your best friend?

We hid behind these slambooks to get a sense of how other people felt about us. And those times are not too different from what we have now. These days we check our Facebook page to see how many "likes" our pictures and posts have received.

Simple Messaging
The book also had the appeal of innocence and simplicity that many people nowadays have lost or forgotten. It reminded me of Benjamin Hoff's "The Tao of Pooh" in its use of lovable characters both innocent and childlike, showing wisdom that many adults may have forgotten or lost. I love the simplicity of the words used in Mackesy's book, and yet, each scribbled word carried a lot of weight.

Nonlinear Reading
In the author's introduction (which I read!), the author expressed that he liked to "start in the middle of a book". His book allows you to do just that without losing the essence of the story. For every page can be a standalone or it can be read in a linear fashion, depending on your reading style. Just like in real life, we are all at different stages of our lives. We don't always start off on the same page. The book allows us to find where we are in our lives and start from there.

What's in a Picture?
Despite the author's lack of formal art training, I absolutely loved the artwork. Again, like his choice of words and messaging, the author used simple lines and pops of color reminding us to focus on the things that really matter--kindness, friendship, and acceptance which all lead to love.

Perhaps, the appeal of this book is because we've complicated these basic ideals and values to a point that they've become unrecognizable. Perhaps, we've heard and seen so much hatred and negativity that we've forgotten what love is all about. Perhaps, we've added so many layers and attributes that the very basic definition of these concepts has become distorted and hidden. It's a timely book that reminds us of our base needs for acceptance and affection and a reminder that deep inside of us is a child who can react to the world at large with kindness...and a craving for cake!

For a copy of the book, which I highly recommend, click here. Any purchases help defray costs of the-mama-travels website.